Headlines anyone?

Let see whether I succeed in finishing this entry after more than ten give-ups..So I have a new headline for this time but I think I’ll note it later at the end of this piece. Yes, this is a lame method to ensure that anyone who happens to stumble on reading this would be triggered to linger a tad longer to ponder and read my heart out to the very last full stop. I have always thought blogging is cool thus I started my own with the qualm optimism that maybe I can be considered cool by people too. See I can just simplify the whole describing-the-audience thing by using the plural ‘friends’ here but I figured by using ‘people’ would complement the sense of authority as if I was read and acknowledged by a larger demography. I deleted ‘public’ earlier because it sounded unattached and this piece is in no need of formality.

So then after almost 3 years, indeed I was read, even better I was acknowledged too. I was so overwhelmed that it took me a while to realize that all my only 15 readers were my close friends and that some of them tagged my blog as boring and too emotional. Some even told me that I should consider writing about good foods, places and travelling. My use of words were too heavy, it wasn’t something fun and relaxing to read and it lacked visual images and so the remarks continues..Although I also received good responses and grammatical corrections here and there I must admit that I was momentarily demoralized pausing my eager and diverting it to other means of virtual social connections. I had fun for a while with that twitter and what not but ever since, this rusty brain has always been waiting to pour it’s inside out into literature.

I adore properly choreographed words, ridiculously seeing myself arranging my own words I tend to overlook the conveniences of the readers. I guess I can be quite selfish in that sense sometimes and I am so lack of the techniques to write well, so bear with me.. Not that I don’t want to write features about delicacies or places, I don’t travel much. I can’t get out of the country because I got blacklisted passport plus I don’t think I can engage emotionally with foods. However, I do get quite emotional from the high calorie foods consumed and I think I can further elaborate on that. Every time I set the tip of my neurons blindly on the keyboard I’ll be gushed with expressions merely describing the murky shadows that clouding my ability to juice out contentment and jot about it. Hence I was read emotionally.

So finally I realized that maybe because of those sad and gloomy emotions which constitute 65% of my heart were the reasons why I wanted to write from the first place. Maybe because I am having hard times expressing that side of me to others that I have to put it in forms of words and it felt so good every time I did it. I got the courage to say it out loud here when outside I have failed myself for being so timid. Nonetheless, I have now decided to refresh my notions and to balance the equality of my ranging emotions preventing myself from being deeply indulged in the not-so-happy-thoughts that I usually greased myself with. After all, life is too short to not to be happy. I am fixed, smiling and happier now than I was before . Well I think I just found my headline, there you go!